Genesis 2:4-25
1. What God said to me today through His Word...
God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. What if God has placed me in my "garden" for a specific purpose? Am I listening to Him and following His direction? Are there things in my life I am to stay away from because it will only hinder me or cause me or someone else to stumble?
2. What I saw God do today...
He allowed me to face some feelings that I have kept pent up inside for so long and provided a way for them to come out. He also gave my mom the time to talk me through them.
3. My prayer for today...
Lord, You know my heart and my desires as well as my anxious thoughts. You are always with me whether I realize it or not. You are there in my happy times. You are there in my sad times. You are there when I feel loved. You are there when I feel lonely. I am not sure exactly why my loneliness and longings of the heart came forth while celebrating my sister's 30th birthday tonight. It has been very difficult being single all these years with a strong desire to get married and have a family of my own. I can truly say that I am happy for my friends and family and can celebrate with them in their weddings and having babies. While at the same time, I can't help but feel a bit jealous and envious. Oh how I have longed to hold the hand of a special someone or to hold a newborn baby that was formed out of love or to be sent flowers at work from someone special just because or to surprise them with a special dinner that I created just for them. Instead, I have watched so many friends and family get to do that and I don't even seem to have a hint of a glimpse of that in my future. I know that You know the plans for my life and why I am still single at the age of 33...but sometimes...ok a LOT of times...I can't help but think "what's wrong with me?" I even feel bad for thinking and saying to my mom tonight that I was jealous of my sister. She seems to get all sorts of surprises, even when it's not her birthday or Valentines day. I feel bad that I told my mom that: yes, I know that Chris is gone now and I feel for her and I know that their marriage wasn't perfect, but at least she got to experience having a husband and a child. For some reason, the feelings just overflowed tonight and my mom picked up on it. I don't want to feel lonely...or undesired...or...When will it be MY turn? Lord, please fill me up with Your Spirit, surround me with Your loving and comforting arms. Hold my hand and walk with me down this journey I am on. Prepare me for the man You may have for me one day. Prepare him for me as well. May he be a man who loves You and seeks after You. Amen.
1 What are your thoughts?:
My dear Jennifer,
There are girls who are in marriages that they wish they were not in and would trade places with you in a minute. I pray that God will bless you with a Godly husband in the near future, but it is better to be single than to wish you were single. You have so much love to give. God is still God and he will do what is best if you give the choice to Him! Love, Aunt Arlona
Post a Comment